| Robert Montenegro - C-63849 | ||||
| Address: | PO BOX 7500 D7-118 CRESCENT CITY, CA 95532 |
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| DOB: | September 7, 1959 | |||
| Marital/Family Status: | Single; 3 children; 3 grandchildren | |||
| Prison Status: | 25 years to life + | |||
| Years Incarcerated: | 24 years | |||
| Education: | Peer Counseling; Working to achieve G.E.D. and further ed. to higher level | |||
| Hobbies & Interests | Drawing; Reading; Chess; Working-out; Writing; Cooking a good jailhouse meal. Environment; Substance Abuse Prevention; Animal Rights; Family Commitment; P.R.O.T.E.C.T., Roots and Shoots, The Jane Goodall Institute | |||
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| Dog Days | Hard Pressed | Jaguar God | Rain God | |
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| Shades of Night | Somewhat Better, But Not Quite | Coyolxauhqui | Balancing | |
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| Monkeying Around | ||||
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| Personal Statement | ||||
| My Name is Robert. I’m 45 years old, from East Los Angeles. I arrived at Pelican Bay State Prison in 1989 when the institution first opened. I recall in the 90’s a movie called “Home Alone” [which] told of the adventure’s of a young boy, mistakenly left alone when the rest of his family went on vacation. I felt this way growing up. Pelican Bay reminds me everyday of this empty feeling. Over the years utilizing logic and introspection I manage to discover myself. Being the only male in my family of six females I was often alone, for many children the thought of being alone is uneasy. For me it contributed to my delinquency, (isolation) One of the basic yearnings of most people is the desire to fall in love and be cared about. What loneliness amounted to for me is the empty feelings of being forgotten; even rejected. Naturally these feelings dropped over me like a dark blanket. But like other people who find solutions to these situations, I also sought solutions. I realized it’s no guarantee I’d always have someone around me who cared, but that was something I had to learn via experience. Many of us don’t have close relations still alive, after decades of incarceration; and contact with friends and loved ones is extremely difficult because P.B.S.P. is hundreds of miles from our families, so just like the little boy in “Home Alone” many prisoners fall through society’s cracks. My journey began when I was young. I was in and out of Juvenile Hall starting at the age of 12, first county camps then foster homes – finally I was sent to the Youth Authority. After years of incarceration, getting high and breaking the law I met a beautiful lady who blessed me with three beautiful children and three beautiful grandchildren. Now I sit on this lonely Oregon border imprisoned for a murder committed during a crime spree. Doing life in solitary confinement; I find myself once again “alone". My attempts to get closer to my mother is useless now because she passed away a few years ago, and I’m confined in a world where I’m reminded every day that I can no longer have physical contact with loved ones. My cell is searched routinely and treasured family photos, my only contact to loved ones, are confiscated, and my memories are lost to disregard. I now realize through the development of my understanding, gained by improving my education and the realization of events, that I comprehend that we’re all faced with choices daily. Sometimes we don’t realize the importance of making the right choices, or how a single choice can make a major difference in our lives; and sometimes, unfortunately, we make choices in the moment without considering the effect those choices will have on others and ourselves. I’ve been in prison 24 years, most of it in isolation, and believe me, being alone in a cell gave me time to think, analyze, and grow despite the everyday struggle of being deprived. I somehow found peace by devoting my life in helping the youth of today seek their path. I have been asked what good does it do, to assist with the disrupted lives of youth? They’re right to a certain extent. Dwelling on, but doing nothing, about the volume of tragic news involving today’s youth isn’t helpful to anyone; but we at P.R.O.T.E.C.T. are not dwelling on anything, we’re doing something. It’s the little things that mean the most. I’m one man of many who has ended in prison due to making wrong choices, but I’m still learning. I failed all through school. I never knew what an adjective, pronoun or verb was from a hole in the wall but I knew desire that comes from within, and I’ve learned to say what I mean and mean what I say. I believe all human beings, no matter what ethnicity, are born with a natural intelligence, if only given an opportunity. Youth can learn and rise to their full potential through education. Prison is an environment where the first act sought is dehumanization. Don’t throw yourselves away due to lack of responsibility or limit your possibilities. What finally turned me around was P.R.O.T.E.C.T. - “Prisoners Reaching Out to Educate Children and Teens.” I was looking for tools to help a new generation. Confined 24 years locked in a cage in defiance of the belief that one can’t change. We can all change and defy personal history. Education is knowledge, and knowledge is power which combine to make a powerful individual. We at P.R.O.T.E.C.T. care! Sincerely, Robert V. Montenegro |
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